Where is the Dancing Bear?

cat's laughingI’m working on a fun art job this week. What makes this project especially interesting is that I have to perform a certain amount of image recovery and reconstruction.

A local band is coming back to the scene for a reunion gig in April and they’re celebrating with some t-shirts, posters, and a few different forms of musical media. However, their hiatus was long enough that the old Photoshop files of their artwork have melted into the ether. What remains is a small, digital band caricature and a somewhat larger, but pixelated, image of one part of the illustration.

What makes this easier is that these caricatures are based on Egyptian gods so I have some wonderful reference material to work from. This is gonna be a cool project. I’m excited to have some finished inks for you in a few weeks.

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Yesterday, I began the first step in publicizing my Patreon page. Making the page itself was quite the project. Being a sort of reclusive person, the whole idea took a little getting used to. The page sat live but quiet for about two weeks as I danced with the whole making-of-the-video-thing.

Friends are embracing the post and sharing it around the Facebook universe and that is so cool. I’m loving the comments and mentions, thank you Everyone!

150212_3Coming up with my message; exactly what I’m doing, how I’m doing it, and how to say it, was frustrating and time consuming to say the least. And, unfortunately,  that difficulty comes across.

Those who know me well, know that the more public the venue the more timid I become. Timidity quadric. (It took me a lifetime to be able to sing in front of anyone. Open mic can still terrify.) The knowing wisdom of my inner circle produced a few point-on and well meaning critiques of both the video and front page content, which I have taken to heart and will use.

Because they are right. Once I stepped in front of the camera I couldn’t get away from the very public fact of it. I spent that whole time doing my best to ignore and fight through the fear while searching frantically through my suddenly vacated mind. The words that had previously come so naturally in conversations with friends evaporated. All those edits are covering for long moments of staring at the floor, nervous laughter and funny expressions.

A friend and fellow tarot reader’s comment covered it best, “Where is the ‘You’? Safe stories don’t sell. If you want to be a story teller you gotta get comfortable with letting your slip show.” I also have a lifetime of being hyper-aware of my ‘slip’ slipping.

150212_4It’s my heart that leads me on my adventures, I must screw my courage to the sticking place and let it speak. The story is there and ready to fly. Now I have to embrace it, the way my friends have embraced me.

Through my friends eyes, I can see that I was dancing with the wrestling bear. Where is the dancing bear?

There will be a new video, probably (and reasonably) by the end of February.

So, it’s back to the drawing board, happily.
To draw some cool art and put some ‘Me’ on film.